Thrills for togetherness
Increasingly, counsellors are recommending thrill therapy to heal estranged and broken relationships. Believe it or not, climbing a steep mountain range is not just about adventure but about human relationships and trust.
What is it about careening down treacherous rapids that fall into stretches of Calm River at some places that gets couples- even the most estranged ones- clinging to each other, if not in fear, then in pure ecstasy? What is it about trekking through narrow and rocky mountain paths, with a sheer fall of 20,000 feet that gets even the bitterly quarreling couple slim at each other?
Ask Manish Arora, a 39-year old financial advisor with HDFC who after 10 years of marriage, felt that life was passing him by, and his relationship was going nowhere. “We weren’t even talking to each other. It was like I led my life and she led hers. We were two strangers living under the some roof.”
And then, Arora’s friend Nikhil Sharma, a psychologist and marriage counsellor rolled into one, gave the couple a ticket to Rishikesh, where he had arranged one of the world’s got them to trek in the Himalayas, where one wrong step could mean death in the snow covered valleys or an icy river flowing somewhere below at 12,000 feet.
Arora, reliving the experience, says,” I was into trekking back in college but had not done so for almost eight years. And I didn’t want to miss the experience, even if it meant going with my wife. “But then, as couple struggled to stay inside the rubber raft while going down the Ganger rapids, or they trekked up a particularly steep Himalayan valley and saw the beauty around them-snow White Mountain peaks and ice blue river – a certain bind began developing.
“We started pointing out things to each other-like a partner on the river bank, or a eagle soaring, and the experience was so overwhelmingly beautiful, that we forgot that back home we weren’t even on talking terms.” He says.
The two come back as friends, and continue to stay so. Occasionally, they escape into the wilderness, not only to live on the edge but even to bond and discover themselves, something that chaotic Mumbai doesn’t offer.
Increasingly, across the world, marriage counsellors are recommending thrill therapy to partners, or even friends, to whom life together seems one big drag.
Says Sharma,” I was in the US for further studies in psychology, especially couple psychology, and realized that more and more, counsellors have begun sending their clients on adventure sports thrill.”
Thrill therapy, to put it simply, means using sports that gets your adrenaline going and presents some kind of danger- river rafting, trekking, rock climbing, scuba diving, snorkeling, paragliding, bungee jumping, just about anything- to revive human bonds and heal relationships that have gone sour.
In fact, the Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad, recently published an article on thrill therapy that explores the relationship between trills and person’s well being.
The paper says,” The illusion danger can be authentically good for you. A good thrill lets the body remember its primitive heritage and wakes up otherwise dormant biochemical pathways that energies, refresh and heal. A thrill creates a psychological catharsis and feeling of euphoria. These experiences make people feel good.” This is why counsellors have begun seeing thrill therapy as a process that can be cathartic.
Says psychiatrist and Counsellors Rajesh Parikh, associated with the Breach Candy Hospital,” Most people assume stress is unhealthy, but according to medical science the stress cycle is healthy only if it completed. There are four phases:
| 1) Relaxation: The natural state with no threats or worries and heart rate is about 70 beats per minute. |
| 2) Alarm Response: The brain signals the body release adrenaline, cortisol and endorphins, doubling the heart rate more then 140 beats per minutes, something that happens when you know your going to paraglide or river raft and the feeling of danger at the some time. |
| 3) Fight or flight: Facing the danger. |
4) Resolution and release: The danger has passed and you are delighted to be alive but the body is still flush with adrenaline, cortisol and endorphins providing a sense of euphoria and well being.
Recreational designers have come up with a way to temporarily resolve stressful situations of everyday life by artificially putting the person through the complete healthy stress cycle by giving them an illusion of a like terrifying, seemingly dangerous experience, like the one found in scuba diving.
And when you come out fine, you end up feeling good about to be alive, and you end up feeling good about everyone around you. Add to that staying together for 24 hours a day an entire week and sharing intense experiences, something that naturally brings people together.
While thrill therapy is an accepted method of counseling in the west, in India it just about gaining around. It helps build trust in each other, because you can’t survive alone, you have to depend on the other person to get through a dangerous mountain path. |
Where to get it:
Most counselors and psychiatrists attached to big hospitals are recommending thrill therapy as means to resolve material discords and give a relationship a fighting change. However, you don’t need counsellors to tell you that if you have relationship problems, the best thing to do is to get out and be together.
“Holidays were always recommended, because people discover each other when on vacations. But if you choose to use your vacation to bungee jump, or scuba dive, you will not only bond but also begin trusting each other, because nature, though beautiful, ensures only the survival of the fittest. That means, to survive you have to trust your own instincts as well as the person you are with, If you or he does something wrong, both of you can be big trouble. And if both of you co-operate, you will learn the meaning of adjusting and trusting,” points out Parikh.
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